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Thom sat reading a copy of NO LOGO sipping a cup of citrus tinged green tea. He loved spending these cool autumn afternoons sitting on the pier listening to the gulls singing their lament for the end of summer. He was alone, as he had always been and always wanted to be at least since the last Radiohead tour ended a few weeks earlier. His nerves were shattered and he needed this boring lazy day all to himself. Suddenly, there was a great splash sound and a shrill, female voice yelled out, "Don't be such a wimp c'mon bitch and jump in with me!" Out from behind the rocks stepped a familiar looking ginger-haired woman that he immediately recognized as the singer of the band Garbage. He was not a fan but the woman was stunning in her nakedness, her auburn hair catching the sun, and the sweat glistening on her pale skin. "You're always doing this Courtney! You drag my arse out to the beach saying we're just going to write lyrics and then you throw off your knickers and jump in the water." The woman in the water was laughing and doing backstrokes in response to Shirley's irritation. Thom looked out in the water and realized that the woman spitting and spewing water from her mouth was that looney Courtney Love. "Oh no," he thought to himself, "there goes my quiet afternoon." He went back to reading yet found himself periodically looking at the two women frollicking in the water. There was something intense in their behavior and he was amused to look up and see Shirley and Courtney kissing each other deeply. He did not find either of them particularly attractive but acknowledged his own male libido. Suddenly, he felt a swelling in his groin and his trousers started to feel very tight. This was not helped by the sound of moans and groans coming from Courtney as she and Shirley locked into a fluid embrace. He felt his hand slide down his trousers and over the band of his boxer shorts. NO LOGO was covering his groin area so he proceeded to pleasure himself slowly while taking in the image of the two women imagining where hands and fingers were going as they explored each other's bodies under the veil of seafoam. As he stroked a throb of fear shot through his whole body as he heard the gravelly, American woman's voice say, "Well, well, well look who's here! I thought boys like you locked yourself up in your room and did that sort of thing." Shirley laughed and said, "I guess even intellectuals have a pervy side too." Thom didn't know what to do or say so he froze. The two women swam up to the pier and rested their elbows on the surface. He was surrounded on both sides by two of the strangest mermaids any man could ever see. "So, whatcha thinking about?" Courtney asked with the look of a love-starved cobra. Thom said nothing and both women looked at each other. Suddenly, with one hard jerk Courtney and Shirley grabbed hold of his legs and pulled him into the water. He was locked between the two women, neither fighting nor resisting. "Whatever am I to do?" Thom thought to himself as he felt a hand on his thigh... |